I was on facebook some time last week, and I saw someone on my list who had displayed pictures of Waves, which is our annual cultural festival in college. As I looked at the pictures, I felt myself awash with nostalgia for some strange reason. I couldn’t understand it, simply because I wasn’t as over enthusiastic as the rest of the people around me would normally be at the onset of Waves.
The whole (almost, with the exclusion of those people who showed absolutely no interest) college would be in this frenzy whenever it was Waves season. The organizing committees would be up in arms, to re-invent traditional events, and invent new and more interesting ones, which they always managed to do. I never dared sign up to be a committee member, for I was always afraid that I could in no way come up with what would be considered a decent idea. And the thrill of participation held more attraction, simply because it was more of a rush than the satisfaction of people enjoying my event.
Well, anyway, everyone would be waiting with bated breath for Waves, and there would be glee and pure unadulterated joy writ on their faces. People would queue up to order any and every T shirt that was designed and on sale (I would never get one that fit correctly, because all girls and boys in BITS Goa were apparently the same size). A large percentage of the students would be frantically dying for the Rock Night event, which did not really hold my attention at all. I’m not into hard rock, and the most I would do then was go and grab a bite of food that did not originate in the mess and shut myself in the room to try to drown the noise in vain. The DJ night was another rage, but that wasn’t really my cup of tea either.
The events I liked to watch were the dance and the fashion show, and maybe Mr. and Miss Waves. Those I would not miss. The only things that I was seriously into were quiz and dumb charades. Quiz because I’m a big fan, and I really love quizzing, even when I suck at it. I used to be good at it, but then later it got tougher, but I still sincerely took part no matter how much I got embarrassed. Dumb charades I was really good at, without being immodest. I love dumb charades, and I don’t know how I got good at it. But I am, and I’ve won most of the times I’ve taken part.
And so, I was kind of surprised that I missed the fun and excitement of Waves, and was more surprised that I wanted to be there. Because from what I read above, I guess I would come out to be one of the not so interested people when it came to Waves.
I thought about it, and then I realized that it wasn’t so much that I missed Waves, I just missed what I had with my friends then. Waves, even if it did not hold my interest so much; was about the collective spirit with which my friends and I would enjoy it. I’d attend events I did not like much just to provide company to my friends, as much as they would when I’d want to visit the food stands (even if they were not hungry). It was in the enthusiasm sharing and the craziness that the fun lay.
And then I realized that I miss college. All of a sudden, all I wanted to do was to go back and relive the years from 2004 to 2008, good days, bad days, the whole nine yards. All of it. I would not have minded less cramming for the exams, but they weren’t all that bad either (Maybe I’d do them better this time). I want that back, the fun, the happiness, the laziness, the sadness, the euphoria, the bouts of craziness, the fights, the after-fights, the eating, the not eating in the mess, the trips to Vasco and Panjim, the enduring of an hour long bus ride to go and have pizza at Domino’s, the Temptations pastries and rolls.
The I-want-to-go-back-to-college feeling when the holidays got boring, the I-want-holidays feeling when the semester got dull, the oh-no!-It’s-time-to-do-laundry groans, the argh!-Damn-these-tests! moans, the eww!-Is-this-edible? exclamation when we saw the food in the mess, the let’s-order-something-else, the Monginis ice candy and dutch truffle, the so funny Preeti jokes that would make us laugh so loud that everyone would turn to look at our table, the long winded and meandering dinner discussions about nothing in particular, the is this guy cute or not debates, oh can’t they all come back?
The morning phone-wake up calls, the knocking and collecting everyone to go for breakfast-lunch-dinner, the trying to wake up Preeti to go for breakfast, the morning discussions with her before we went for breakfast, the okay let’s just bunk class and sleep even though we were ready to go for class just 5 minutes ago, the go-till-the-classroom-and-then-bunk-class routine, the give missed calls and send messages to Preeti because this class is THAT boring, the sleeping in class, the getting caught sleeping in class, the oh-my-god,-I-spoke-to-that-cute-guy! conversations, the okay let’s disperse but ending up yapping for another whole hour, the Jini-I-need-to-go-to-Nescafe right after dinner in the mess, the trips to the shopping complex, the running late to class, the corridor chat sessions, the T4 investigations, the TV movie sessions in the common room, the power cuts, the power cut sessions, the early morning basketball practices, the most amazing basketball games, the victories and the losses, please bring all that back!
The heart to hearts with Pre, the unnecessary and meaningless fights with her, the apologies and crying post the fight, the way talking to her lit up the day, the way not talking to her put it out, the ways she made me laugh, her encouraging words when I’m low, the nonsensical conversations with her, playing mediator when you’re angry with Sups, the funny and interesting conversations with him, the utter madness we unleashed sometimes, the trips to Vasco, the sleepovers, the will-I-get-through-an-interview sessions, the men-suck-and-a-million-reasons-why discussions, the highs and the lows, the laughter and the tears, the dumb charades, the Abdul Karim Telgi moment, the Bangalore trip, those incredible(ST) 7 days, the maggi in Nescafe, the third semester with her, the Nandy-there-is-a-lizard-in-my-room! crises, the birthdays, the weekends at your house during PS, the meetings in TI, your reactions to just about anything, the bailing each other out of mundane emergencies, basically just every single moment we spent together, I wish I could relive them again!
The weird thing is, I wanted college to get over when I was there, but now that it’s over I want it back. Even now, I want my MS to get over, but on some level, I wish it weren’t moving so fast. I’m sure I’ll have another long entry about how I want life as a grad student back in another year or so. But how I wish I could relive life in BITS again! I may do some things differently, like study better, or organize something in Waves, or work towards a better resume, but I wouldn’t change my friends or trade any of the fun I had for anything else. I may not have had the most interesting or super exciting life while I was in college, but I loved every single moment of it. The fun gave me unbridled happiness, the frustrating experiences taught me patience, the aww moments gave me memories to cherish, the relationships I had gave me lasting friendships, the unhappy moments taught me that life wasn’t perfect, the not so nice incidents with people made me strive to be a decent person, the encouragement when I was down made me realize I always had a shoulder to lean on and life in college gave me education, a glimpse into what life can be, and how the choices we make can change it.
College changed me, the choices I made, the friends I made, the friend I am, the person I am today, all of it. And though I must be a grown up and move on with life, once in a while, there is nothing more I would like that to go back in the past and re live the whole thing. All over again.
